You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
