She is in my trunk
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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