I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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