Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
