May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
