my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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