We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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