do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
