I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
