well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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