I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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