just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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