Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
