It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
