so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
