he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
