mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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