The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
