drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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