Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My bed smells like the plague
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize