Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
