does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
