i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
