we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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