i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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