Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
