If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
