And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
