I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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