another moral hangover. fuck.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize