omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Let's get the cat blown out
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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