is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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