I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
