People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
how does that bad decision feel?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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