So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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