my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
