I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
