hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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