we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize