your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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