I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
