You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
