I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
