And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
