I am in a vortex of obligation.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
