This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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