I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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