I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
