he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
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