I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Oh god it's open bar.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
