He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Boobs speak an international language.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
