i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
