So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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