You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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