im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
