Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
