So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Houston, we have a blender
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
