how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
