i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
