YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
