worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Of course I have a pirate flag
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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