i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
